So you’ve probably heard of a little movie franchise called Twilight that had an army of diehard fans in the late ’00s.
Well despite being a huge emo in the year of 2008 who ought to have loved this movie, the Twilight hype passed me by! Seeing as it’s ten years since the film was released, I decided to do what 14-year-old me should have done, and give the movie a watch.
1. OK first of all, the opening of this movie is so intense that I spent the next ten minutes being sad about the deer and not properly absorbed in the film.
2. It doesn’t make sense how Bella joining a new school courts so much attention from all of her classmates, and how people are immediately obsessed with her.
3. Emmett Cullen simply LOVES to stand in cars.
4. There are so many (some would say too many) closeups of Bella and Edward staring at each other but this one with Bella biting her lip after looking at his eyes is the most baffling.
5. It’s kind of wild that Edward KNOWS he’s being rude but can’t think of any other way to keep them apart.
6. For a vampire movie it takes a really long time for vampires to be mentioned!
7. Edward’s initial protectiveness is super creepy considering they’re not even friends – they’re lab partners who have hardly spoken.
8. Bella went ONLINE to look for this book and then went out to get it, could she not have ordered it?
9. I don’t care how ~intriguing~ Bella finds Edward, there’s no way a person would have this reaction to hearing the guy they like has killed people.
10. The timeline of them deciding they’re in love is like…super fast, even by movie standards.
11. Why does Edward wear sunglasses outdoors in the ~cool~ shot of them exiting his car when Forks is notoriously grey and cloudy?
12. None of the Cullen kids really look like teens, so can’t they just work or study at university or something instead of repeatedly doing high school? Or just do what they want and then if someone asks, say they’re working or studying part time?
13. Presumably the Cullens can’t play baseball that often if they have to wait until thunderstorms, so it’s a little odd that they have whole uniforms and monogrammed caps.
14. What exactly does Bella think she is going to explain to her mum when she leaves home and calls her?
15. Pepper spraying and then running away from a seasoned hunter was an optimistic move, but surely Bella didn’t think she could outrun James?
16. Also, with the exception of when she insists that she can’t leave her dad to be killed by James, she shows little to no consideration for her parents or how out of the loop they must be.
17. For a movie franchise that spawned loads of “Team Edward” and “Team Jacob” T-shirts, there’s a surprising lack of Jacob in the first movie!
18. And finally, Bella was really willing to give up her whole life for a guy?